"Premium Adventure"
Storyline Arc The Adventure Begins
Number of EP 2
Date of Release Dec 17, 2013
Appearing characters Gregor, Aesling, Markus, Thog
Location Alaran

"Premium Adventure" is the second episode of The Adventure Begins. The trio arrives at the Cave of the Pigbat King and locates the monster, briefly engaging in combat before scaring it off with magic.

Plot Synopsis Edit

The group continues towards the caves, Markus and Ashe having a discussion about the fact the trees and foliage are all manufactured on the way. They encounter a man, Abbacus, who tries to make them kill the rats in his basement, but he is told off by Ashe, who claims he does this all the time.

They continue on and Ashe points out the caves are where the adventurers fight the Pigbat King, a boss monster of sorts (for the adventurers, of course). In front of the entrance, another man, thinking they are adventurers, tries to entrust them with a quest, but is, once again, told off by Ashe. When Gregor protests slightly, Ashe lets him know that while the three of them are certainly adventuring, in Alaran, the word 'adventurer' means something different and worse.

They enter the cave. Despite all logic, they can see in it quite clearly. They are greeted by a voice, coming somewhere from within the walls, reciting a welcome for adventurers that have come to the cave to slay the Pigbat King.

The trio promptly ignores the voice and continues walking, soon arriving at a junction, one of the halls being named "The Lair of the Pig-Bat King, beware!", the other "Not Lair of the Pig-Bat King! Seriously, keep out, don't go in here, c'mon!". Markus decides to take a peek into the Lair, which is empty, Ashe informing him the Pigbat King is not "up", the disembodied voices within the walls agreeing.

At last, they arrive at the crime scene, finding the monster in the middle of a bloody mess, three gutless bodies scattered around it. Upon sneaking around to take a look at what it's doing, Gregor sees it has some sort of log which it is filling with the peoples' insides. It eventually notices the group, running over to them in a blur and exclaiming that Gregor's guts would be 'perfect for [its] drum'. Ashe runs a guidance through Gregor, strengthening his belly, and Markus forces the creature to evade backwards by sending an Eldritch Blast at it.

Gregor charges it and hits the drum with his glaive. It emits a shockwave which raises the dead corpses and weakens the trio, especially Gregor, who was standing the nearest. Ashe runs a guidance through him once again and steps back, asking Markus whether he has any plans, and the latter casts Enlarge Person on Gregor, who greatly disapproves.

The monster seems startled by this use of magic, slamming its drum down again and running to the entrance, mumbling something about magic smelling awful. The drum makes Ashe and Markus only nauseous, but puts Gregor under the creature's control - or, at least, he is compelled to swing his glaive on his companions. The two run away, pursued by a giant Gregor, attempting to catch the monster.

Trivia Edit

  • This is the first episode with the Enlarged Gregor, which became a running joke of sorts in the later episodes, as Markus is rather trigger-happy with this spell.
  • This episode's thumbnail is a reference to Gregor saying he was arrested by a sheep in the first episode.

Quotes Edit

  • Ashe: To the north is the caves of the Pigbat King.
  • Markus: "Of the- sorry?"
  • Gregor: "What?"
  • Ashe: sighs "A Pigbat King. They taped a bat to a pig."

  • Gregor: "Could it be- hear me out, that you created the monster."
  • Ashe: "I have no hand in creating the monsters."
  • Gregor: "Not you, but, you know, you."

  • Markus: "Feral sheep are something that a man has to face on his own, Gregor."

  • GM: You enter the Cave of the Pigbat King and are incredibly..whelmed.

  • Gregor: frowning "There's nothing cool in this cave.."
  • Ashe: "There's nothing cool in Meadshire."

  • Gregor: whispering "Guys, I'm like..75% sure that's not a sheep."
  • Ashe: whispering "I'll add 15 to that 75."
  • Gregor: whispering "Markus, what's your input?"
  • Markus: "That is not a sheep. Not even a little bit. I don't even know why we're having this conversation."

  • Ashe: whispering "What do you see?"
  • Gregor: in a low voice "I's making some sort of smoothie."

  • GM: The blast travels past him, ricocheting off the wall and flying into this corpse, detonating it and sending blood and bits everywhere.
  • Markus: Oh, great, I'm shielded by Ashe and Gregor.
  • Ashe: I'm shielded by Gregor.
  • Gregor: I wish I had a shield.

  • Ashe: fuming "So- putting aside the fact you just called me impure, what- what- WHAT?"

  • Gregor: I scramble with my weapon. "Ohuhoh, it's like there's butter..everywhere.."

  • GM: As you run, you notice Gregor's glaive sweeping back and forth in your general direction.
  • Markus: "Nyeeeeeeeeh, run faster!"


  • Ashe: "So you got any ideas about what we're going to do? We just kinda released the monster onto the world?
  • Gregor: "I'm not a monster!
  • Markus: "Not you, Gregor."
  • Gregor: "I have feelings! You made me like this; this is the metaphor!"
The Adventure Begins
"Idiot, Devil, Drunkard" - "Premium Adventure" - "Massacre in Meadshire" - "Just Dessert"